The Journal of Sarah E. Arnold 1862-1875

The Journal of Sarah Elizabeth Arnold
Sarah Elizabeth Arnold was born in Bristol, RI on 3 Oct 1849 to Lyman Arnold and Waite Ann Remington Arnold. She grew up in Providence, RI, in the Elmwood section. Their house was in the triangle formed by Greenwich St., Mashapaug St., and Public St. (G.M. Hopkins Atlas, 1875)
This is her journal from 1862 through 1875, encompassing much of the Civil War, her first marriage to Samuel Parker and his death, and the early lives of her children. It includes a wealth of information about the movement of RI troops during the war and political goings-on. It includes a moving entry about President Lincoln’s assassination written the day after it happened. It’s written in very fine script until later in the journal when the handwriting becomes less flowing. It’s very literary in style and a delight to read. The journal will be entered here exactly as written, with occasional annotations from other sources that I come across that might add some context.
This journal was found at an estate sale on Cape Cod, MA., identified on the tag as “c1870 journal”. I believe Sarah’s second husband’s family was from that area. It starts on page 100 after a few pages in front with hymn lyrics and many blank pages. On initial inspection the journal’s author was unknown, but a closer look at the second page revealed in rather faint sepia ink: “Sarah E. Arnold Elmwood, R.I.”. See photos. The image you see here was obtained using a digital camera and Picasa image software, which makes the writing much easier to read. The handwriting is exceptionally well-executed.
My intention is to transcribe the journal in its entirety over time. The ink on some of the pages is very strong and has held up well over the years. Some other pages are quite faded. If any of you know of a method to be able to read these pages more easily, please let me know, and the process will be sped up.

September 10, 1862 Wednesday
The 7th Regiment have left Camp Bliss today. They have gone for three years, or the war. Mr. Whiting belongs to Company H. We did not go the next week or this one and so I have not seen him since the day I went to the Camp. May he return home uninjured from the war is my fervent desire.
SEA

September 16, 1862 Tuesday
Mr Burlingame has enlisted in the Young Men’s Christian Association Co, which is forming in the city; they attempted to raise such a company before, but failed. They have succeeded this time, and Mr. Burlingame, Mr Mowry, and my cousin George H. Remington belong to it. Mr. Burlingame has been our teacher a number of terms. I like him very much. He left this noon; he spoke to the school before he left; he shook hands and bade us all good bye. He said that he had learned to think most highly of some of the scholars. I hope I am one of that favored number. We are going to have a new teacher. Mr Burlingame’s wife died last term but he has a beautiful baby boy to leave, and a mother and father.
SEA

October 3, 1863 Friday
I am 13 years old today. My teacher is hearing a class while I am writing. She is a lady, Miss Hoag. I think she is rather stricter than Mr. Burlingame. He is at Camp Stevens now. It is on Dexter Training Ground. My cousin William Prosser and my cousin George H. Remington too. There have been two letters in the (illegible) from someone in the 7th Regiment that left Camp Bliss. (Mr Whiting belongs to that Regiment.) They are encamped at Arlington Heights. There have been many battles fought and won while I was 12 years old. May there be no need of fighting as many more in the coming year. And may this war end- and Rebellion be put down, and Slavery be annihilated- and may Liberty, Union, and Right be exalted before I am a year older is what I hope for and trust will be.
SEA
NOTE: Apparently Sarah wrote the wrong year, 1863, in this entry. This entry is for Oct 3, 1862, since Oct 3 1862 was a Friday and Oct 3, 1863 was a Saturday. Also, her age of 13 is consistent with 1862, not 1863.

Monday Oct 6, 1863 (again, should be 1862)
There is no school in our room this afternoon because the 11th Regiment are going to leave for Washington. Mr Mowry, Mr Burlingame and George H are going. Mr. Mowry is Capn of the 2nd Co Young Men’s Christian Association and Mr. Burlingame is 2nd Lieut of the 1st Co. George is in Mr. Burlingame’s Co. George belongs to the 9th Co. or Co. H, of the 11th Regt. R. I. V. Lizzie Lawson, Mary and Sarah Wood, Lucy Dodge, Emma Dodge, Hannah, Mary, Hattie Cooke and myself all went to the camp to bid our teacher and other friends good bye. When we (Lizzie, Mary, Sarah, Mary, and I) first got there, Mr. Burlingame shook hands with us and talked a little while, and then asked us to excuse him and went off again. We saw him a number of times in the afternoon. Towards night they began to form for departure. Mr. Mowry shook hands and said good bye the first time he spoke to us. I went near to Mr. Burlingame’s tent to shake hands and say good bye. I saw him shaking hands with Mr. Root (our minister) and waited till my turn came. He came towards me, shook hands, said good bye, and he kissed me (of course I returned it), and we parted. I hope he will come back again. I shook hands with cousin George and told him I hoped he would come back again, and then left the ground.
SEA

October 27, 1863(1862)
William Prosser went about a week ago (either Monday or Tuesday). Martha has gone home and little Georgy. I did not go to see him off. But I told Martha to tell him good bye for me. He is in the 12th Regiment R.I.V. I hope all my friends will come back again.
SEA

July 12, 1863 Sunday
Greenwich St
It is Sunday and today is one which will probably be remembered. It ought to be. This morning at S school  Mr. (or Captain it should be) Mowry addressed the school. He is a very interesting speaker and a good christian man. I have very good news to write.  The 11th Regiment has returned home; they came last Monday the 6th of July. We expected them in the morning, and so Mary, Maria Sweet, and I went into the city, but they did not come, and as we went before breakfast (so as to be in time), we were obliged to come home again, but as I had stayed out of school in the forenoon to see them, and had not, I stayed out in the afternoon and went again. Mr. Dodge (the omnibus driver) told somebody that the “11th” were in the city, and so Mary, Lucy Dodge (Mr. Dodge’s sister and Mary’s most intimate friend), Maria Sweet and I all went into the city again. (I think Lucy went with someone else in the morning). When we arrived there, what should we see but a crowd of men, women, and soldiers in front of the passenger depot (Providence). Indeed Exchange Place was full for once, sidewalks and all. After a while the soldiers went into the depot- railroad hall- and had some refreshments which I heard had been waiting for them ever since five o’clock in the morning. Pretty soon they came out again and then I and my cousin Sarah Jane (George’s sister) went to find George Henry- though she had seen him before but I had not. After going through a crowd of “somebodies” we found him and I can assure you I gave him one good kiss- with all due propriety though of course.  I did not stay there long, however, for they were going to be called to order to march somewhere to have their arms (weapons of course). After a while they came back, or at least George H. did, and then his mother and father were there to meet him; they came into the city in a single carriage (chaise I think) and the twins Mary Frankie and Sarah Janie came in in a two seated carriage with a man to drive them, so there was a seat for George Henry. Julia staid (sic) at home at Centerdale for which place George was soon ready to start. Who would not be ready to go home who has been away nine months and in the army too. Aunt Mary, Uncle George, and family were in the city too to see him. I saw George start for home with his two sisters and the man that drove them in, and then Albert and I took the next omnibus home. (Mary and Lucy and Maria came before I did). The 11th Reg’t are not mustered out of the service yet. I  suppose they will be to-morrow. George came in last week, but the regiment did not get mustered out of service and so he is coming in again to-morrow. He came to see us last Friday night, stayed all night, and went home Saturday forenoon; he is going to aunt Mary’s to-morrow. I suppose he will come here again and stay longer sometime, as he is going to make his friends a visit (I mean relations). Mr. Burlingame came home sometime ago. He came home on a furlough, and then resigned on account of his fathers being sick. I believe he is away at present; I think he is somewhere near Boston concerned in a grist mill or some such thing. I suppose his little boy is with his mother and father. Mr. Burlingame was at meeting Sunday. Probably he will come home once in a while. Mr. Dexter has got home and Mr. Collins and cousin George and Capt Mowry.  Cousin William Prosser and Charlie Bassett are in the 12th Regt; they have not come home yet. I hope the 12th will come home soon. Mr. Whiting is in the 7th which went for three years, so they will not come very soon. I hope I shall see cousin William and Mr. Whiting and Charlie Bassett again some time. I am very glad the rest have got home. (I mean those in the 11th). But I must close and go to meeting as the bell is tolling now. But that is however the usual style of its summons except at the first part of it.
SEA

July 22, 1863 Wednesday
The 12th Regt came home today. Charlie Bassett and William Prosser came with– or- in it as they belonged to it. I don’t suppose Mr. Whiting will come very soon as he went in the 7th (for 3 years) unless the War closes. Oh! How I hope it will close soon! But not however until all shall be free- slaves as well as whites- and a righteous peace shall crown our arms. And this must be the result of our battles– “Union and Liberty!” Sooner or later we shall conquer- There can be no other ending to a war begun as this was begun. The 12th were in the battle of Fredericksburg. I have not seen cousin William yet since he came home, but Mary has. Cousin Martha came to our house Tuesday and stayed till Wednesday morning, when she and Mary went into the city to see them in the 6 o’clock omnibus (it went in early because the 12th Regt were coming home so as to carry people if they wished to go in it.) After a while they (the Regt ) came, and soon they had the pleasure of seeing William and it must have been joy indeed for husband and wife to meet after an absence of 9 months, and he having been amid the dangers of camp life during that time. I suppose I shall see him before long. I am very glad my friends have come back again, and thankful, too, I hope.
SEA

October 9, 1863
Friday morning
Today Mr. Whiting came to the school house, but he did not come into our room. He came home on a furlough. I do not know for how long. I want to see him very much; I hope he will come to Elmwood again before he goes back. I have not seen him since that day at Camp Bliss. I was 14 years old this month and although the War has not closed yet, I hope it will soon.
SEA

November 27, 1963 Friday
Mr Whiting returned to his Regt today. I have not seen him at all, although he has had a very long furlough. I hope he will be permitted to return home at the end of the 3 yrs. Mr. Mowry and Mr. Burlingame came to meeting and I see them sometimes on other occasions.

Christmas December 25, 1863
Eighteen hundred and sixty four years ago, a babe was born in Bethlehem in Judea in the days of King Herod. He was of lowly, humble birth, born in a manger with no pillow on which to lay his sacred head. And we are told in Matthew that wise men saw his star in the east and came and worshipped him. Probably the same beautiful moon shone as brightly then as it does now in this lovely Christmas night. “When they saw the star they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.” Oh, who would not rejoice to find the Savior of the world? He who should bring all nations unto him?
As we celebrate the birthday of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, let us remember that it is for his sake, through Him and Him alone, that we have a hope of Eternal Life, Joy, and Blessedness after Death. Although our Savior is no longer with us bodily, He gives the Holy Spirit to those that ask him in faith, believing. He has ascended into Heaven, after giving His own life that we might be saved if we would.
When the last trump shall sound and we shall all stand before the judgment seat of the Almighty, shall we hear the awful sentence pronounced- Depart ye cursed into everlasting fire- or shall we hear the joyous wellcome (sic) of our Savior- Come ye Blessed of my Father- Children come home-?
SEA

January 21, 1864 Thursday
Today the funeral of Mr. Burlingame is to be solemnized. He died Tuesday 19. His wife is still living. She has a noble son left her on whom she can lean with security and trust.
SEA

July 17, 1864 Sunday
It is evening. The moon shines beautifully to night. Today at S,S, we had the new library books distributed for the first time- but one person was not there- Mr. Burlingame. He has had a class of boys for some time; I wonder if they will not miss their teacher. I shall miss him very much. It was so pleasant to have him come every Sunday. I shall miss the loved form and face, the pleasant bow which I received and returned nearly every Sunday. I shall miss his manly step entering the church Sunday afternoons. He has gone to Pennsylvania I believe. He received a very good offer and decided to accept it. Oh! how I wanted to shake hands with him and bid him good bye- but even that pleasure I did not have. Fannie saw him ride by the school house last Friday afternoon at recess. I was in the school room and so did not see him. I suppose he had started then, for friend Maria said that he had a trunk with him and that his mother and little boy were with him also; probably they went to see him off and say good bye. I suppose little Frankie and his mother will live in their home. Perhaps he will come back again once in a while to see them. I shall be so glad when he does.
SEA

Sept 11, 1864 Sunday
Mr. Burlingame came home last week I think. Today he addressed the Sabbath school concert. He spoke beautifully (as he always does). He is going back again to Pennsylvania very soon. I may not see  him again in a very long time, but whenever he does come I shall be very glad. I bowed to him after Sunday S today. It has been rainy. He was not at church this afternoon; this evening we have had none. Oh! How I wish I could see him and have a nice long talk and bid him good bye before he goes again. It would afford me so much pleasure. I think it would seem a great deal easier to part with him if I could shake hands with him and bid him good bye.
Yesterday I saw him ride by with his little Frankie side of  him in the carriage.
If I cannot see him often, I shall never forget him and shall always regard him as one of the noblest and best men it has ever been my privilege to become acquainted with. It seems to be sometimes as if I must do or be something which shall gain his respect and lasting friendship. God helping me I will gain an education, honestly and nobly, and I will use it in the advancement of all that is good, noble, and true.
SEA

Last Wednesday I went to Commencement. Mr. Colwell graduated. He was our school teacher last term. He was a fine teacher and a fine man. He is to be a teacher in Mr. Mowry’s school in the city which will commence tomorrow. It is  a very fine situation for him. I am sure he will honor it. My school commences tomorrow. Mr. Rogers is to be the teacher. I have had an introduction to him. I think I shall like him. “Time will tell” as the old saying is.
SEA

Oct 9, 1864
 I will write a little before I go to sleep to night. Last Monday I was fifteen years old. Fannie gave me a little portfolio that I think a great deal of and a handkerchief for birthday presents. Mary gave me some paper and envelopes in the portfolio. I like Mr. Rogers. Last Friday Mr. Colwell came to visit school; he staid (sic) but a short time. He came to our house before he came to the school house, probably to see about the melodeon.

Oct 10, 1864 Monday morning
I stopped very suddenly last night because somebody wanted my light. We have hired the melodeon ever since school broke up last term. Fannie has begun to take lessons of Mrs. Root (the minister’s wife). We are to keep it sometime longer. I don’t know how long. Mr. Burlingame is home. I believe his uncle is at his house now to attend to the harvesting and then Mrs. Burlingame and little Frankie are going where Mr. Burlingame is. I heard the place was to be sold. I think that will widen the separation very much for when they are gone to him. What cause will there be for him to come to Elmwood? But there may be some cause that I know not of. At any rate, I will hope to see him again sometime. The Presidential election is causing considerable stir in the political world- McClellan for Democrats and our good Lincoln for our free Republicans. I feel sure that Lincoln will be elected. I surely hope so, and I hope to (sic) that war will soon close. I am sure that when it does end, Slavery in the United States will have found a grave from which it can never return to God’s fair air and sunshine again. Such a result is worth fighting for- worth dying for. And I know too that once more our Flag, our bright starry Flag, shall wave triumphantly o’er every state that ever claimed a place in the grand old Union. With not one star less it shall wave triumphantly from every home, an emblem of Union, Peace, Liberty, Love, Purity, and Fidelity to all who shall gaze with admiration and love upon its glorious “Stripes and Stars”.
SEA

Nov 1, 1864 Tuesday
Last Saturday evening I went into the city to the great Union Mass Meeting in Market Square. I can form no estimate of the number of people collected in that vast assemblage. It was beautifully illuminated, much more beautiful than any illumination I have ever before seen. There were two platforms, both of which were fitly adorned and beautifully illuminated. On one it said in large letters “Lincoln & Johnson- The People’s Choice”.
(From the NYT archives, Nov 1, 1864: An immense Union mass meeting was held last Saturday evening in Providence, R.I. It is estimated that at least fifteen thousand persons were present. Eloquent and stirring speeches were made by Hon. WILLIAM SPRAGUE, Gen. BURNSIDE, Hon. J.F. TRUMBULL, and others. It is conceded to have been the most successful political demonstration ever witnessed in Rhode Island.  (http://www.nytimes.com/1864/11/01/news/general-news.html?pagewanted=all )
Yes, that made it seem more beautiful if possible to know that it was for him our noble President Lincoln, that we were now enjoying a sense of such rare beauty and splendor. There were a number of speakers on both stands. We were in Mr. Hoyt’s room over the Marine Bank and therefore had a very nice place to see but could hear scarcely anything, only a word or so every once in a while. However, I went out in time to our Gen. Burnside’s speech and one before his. I remember distinctly one sentence of Burnside’s- it was this: ” I believe that we are now well nigh the end of this terrible war”. Oh! That it might be so! With what joy would we wellcome (sic) Peace once more! A peace under the shadow of whose wings might rest safely, without fear of assault, that great blessing to which every United States citizen is justly entitled- Freedom! Yes, freedom for all, black or white, rich or poor, no matter what their station in life, they would at any rate inherit that blessing of all blessings. That blessing without which every other blessing is turned to a curse.
Oh, may our Union ever be Guardian of Peace and Liberty.
SEA

Nov 2, 1864 Wednesday
Today I have been down street. I had a holiday throughout the school at Elmwood. Yesterday, Lizzie Lawson, Sarah Wood, & I went to Mr. William V. Daboll (the chairman of the school committee) to plead for a holiday. I say plead for it was not simply asking as Mr. Daboll  is a McClellanite and therefore could not be apt to want to give us a holiday on Lincoln’s account. At last, we were allowed to have it on one condition that the majority of the school were to be absent, which proved to be the case. I saw the Grand Cavalcade of both men walking and on horses pass by on Broad St. Brother Albert rode on Princess. After I had seen them pass, I went to the Mammoth Tent and heard some speaking, but not as much as I would have liked to. The tent was very large, and decorated very prettily. The platform was well filled by persons of importance I suppose. I heard two pieces sung by the glee club, both very pretty. They were on the platform. Gen Burnside made a short speech and although I could not hear very much of it, I had a very good opportunity to see him when he left the tent.
SEA

Nov 9, 1864 (Day after Election)
Some time ago I went to a Lincoln flag-raising on Exchange place. Mr. Hunnicutt (one of the speakers) in a part of his speech remarked that “on the 8 of Nov., Geo B. McClellan will go under”. By the returns from the different states that have been received thus far, I should think that he prophesied very correctly and I am so very glad!
SEA

Nov 21, 1864
I trust God has forgiven my sins for Jesus’ sake. We love Him because He first loved us.
SEA

Nov 24, 1864 Thanksgiving
I have joyful news to write today. Last Friday (18), I was in the store and Mr. Burlingame came in; he bowed pleasantly and talked awhile with father and a few minutes with Mr. Hoyt (who was in the store a part of which time that Mr. B. was), and soon went out again. He said that he should go back again either Saturday or the next Monday. I don’t know at which time he went. He was not at our meeting Sunday.  And now comes the good news- his mother and little Frankie are not going to Pennsylvania to live but are going to live in the house with Mrs. Taft upstairs on the same street that we live, and but a short distance from us. So now I may have the long desired privilege of becoming acquainted with them. I said they were going to, rather they are moving. I intend to go and see them in a little while. Uncle Simon & Aunt Amy are here to day spending Thanksgiving with us. Hattie Starr is here now (illegible). We have had a turkey dinner- and this evening corn balls- cake and apples.
Hattie has gone to her uncle’s now. Mary and I accompanied her home and then returned- did not go in. I have had quite a pleasant time to day. Oh! how very much we have for which to be thankful! For the many victories God has vouchsafed our army, and all the other countless blessings bestowed upon us. May God in mercy soon grant us final peace- and may the nation acknowledge Him in all their ways and works.
SEA

Nov 27, 1864 Sunday Eve
This afternoon Mr. Burlingame (Edwin B’s uncle) came to meeting and little Frankie came with him. It is the first time I have had such a good opportunity to see him. I think he is a beautiful little darling; he has got splendid dark eyes and a sweet little rosebud mouth and is very handsome. I think I shall go to see them very soon.

Friday, Dec 2, 1864
Tonight after school mother and I went to Mrs. Burlingame’s. She is very pleasant, and little Frankie is a sweet little darling. I mended his little wagon for him. He had fallen on it and broken the handle off just where it came to the front of the wagon. His breaking it had made him quite out of sorts before I went. I think it pleased him to have it fixed. His mother used to paint pictures. I saw one that was in the kitchen. There are other beautiful ones in the parlor which I have not seen yet, but she will show them to me sometime when I go and it is light enough to see them.
SEA

April 15, 1865 Sunday
What language can express the feelings of our nation tonight! Our President- our father- has been murdered and tonight our nation mourns his loss. We are very sad- this great grief has come upon us very suddenly. We cannot realize it even now. One week ago tonight the glad news of triumphant victory came to our city and all true loyal hearts were glad. Our stately Flag waved proudly in the morning sunlight- all was joy and gladness. Yesterday morning- what a terrible change from Victory to Death- and that the death of Abraham Lincoln, our noble, true-hearted patriotic President who for four long years of War has ruled our nation in such a way as to call forth the love of all loyal citizens. Now he is dead- shot by an assassin Friday night while attending a Washington theatre to which he had gone because he did not wish to disappoint the people, as it had been given out in the paper that he would be present. The terrible fact must be believed- all doubt as to the truth of the report cannot for a moment afford consolation. He died at 22 min past 7 o’clock Saturday morning, and we are left as children without a father, as sheep without a shepherd. We cannot but mourn for one who has so endeared himself to the hearts of his people- our second Washington. But God rules, and in Him we will trust. He is our Strength and our Refuge- we will glorify His holy name even in this our greatest affliction. May God take care of us now and may all hearts with one accord turn to the God of our fathers, knowing that all our help is from Him and that through Him and to Him are all things both now and forever. Amen
SEA

May 3, 1965 Wednesday
Mr. Burlingame has moved to Pennsylvania; he has been there for some time himself making occasional visits to Elmwood, but now his mother and little Frankie are to go too, and before long he will come to Providence to take another lady to his home. Her name is Alsworth. She lives on Broad St. So we shall not see him now as often as before, but we may see him sometimes. I hope she is worthy of him and that they will be very happy. I should like so very much to see them married- but have no strong hope of it. I know I shall always remember him with respect and love whether I ever see him again or not. If I do, these times will always be very pleasant. If I do not, he will ever have my earnest prayer for his welfare and happiness.
This is the 6th week I have been at work at the Pen Holder shop in Providence- two weeks without pay.  I like very well and am contented when I have work; the prospect is brighter now than it has been for the last two weeks, or rather the reality is. Now I have begun my life work. If I succeed in my plan the glory be all given unto my Father in heaven.
SEA

June 6, 1865 Tuesday night
Today Mr. Burlingame was married to Miss Alsworth. He was out here to-day. He is to go directly to Pennsylvania again, I have heard, with his “new found treasure”. Oh! How I have loved that man- not perhaps as I should love were it returned; but with a pure, childlike, trusting, revering love that can never be forgotten. He will always hold a high place in my respect and a dear, sacred place in my friendship. God grant that they may be very happy together always and grant that she may be a true, faithful wife- one who will be worthy of him. Friend & Teacher- a long Farewell.
SEA

July 16, 1865 Sunday
I have been out of work at the Pen Holder shop nearly 3 weeks and during the last week, (Friday) I have been out. I have been to Holmes’s  Boxshop (Nellie Kent told me she thought I might have work as they were going to hire girls) and have obtained an answer (through N. Saturday night) that I can come Monday. And so I shall leave the Pen Holder shop and go there. It is nearer home and Father thinks I had better go; there are also some other advantages I shall like . I’m quite sure if I can do well. I shall work very hard and will trust my Father with the results. I want to earn enough money (in addition to my board and other expenses) to pay my board next winter and go to school. I think I shall be able to do it. I feel that it is right that I should have an education and that God will smile upon my efforts and bless me. I must trust Him. His blessing is all the help I want. He is abundantly able and willing, and in that blessed assurance I will rest sweetly, knowing that it is God that worketh in me to will and to do of His own good pleasure.
Father may I ever have Thy glory my highest aim in life, and when this life shall all be ended, when the Angel Death shall come, may my freed, glorified spirit go home to praise and glorify Thee in the bright spirit land- for Jesus’ sake- Amen
SEA

Sep. 4, 1865 Monday
At home again. Oh! What a delightful change from the dreary routine of daily work. I have worked hard but without satisfactory success and as God has answered my prayers in this way- I have left Holmes’s with mother’s and father’s consent or rather by their request, as I could not make enough to make it pay for the number of hours spent there- and I am to help mother and go to school with Fannie. It begins a week from to-day. And who shall say how long the privilege may be granted me? Thank God that now again I may study- the very word is sweet to my thirsty brain. Oh! with what joy-what thankfulness will I receive the blessed privilege. A little while ago it would have seemed to good to hope for this term at least, although I should have tried to carry out my plan. But it would have taken a long, weary time, and now all is bright and joyful. While I have the light I will rejoice in the light and thank the Great Father of Lights for his love and kindness unto me, so little deserving of yet very thankful for it.
SEA

Mr. Burlingame’s little Frankie is dead. Those dark beautiful eyes are closed on earth forever, the sweet little mouth will never on earth gladden the heart of papa and grandma with its childish prattle. The dear little one has gone home-blessed and happy for him, but oh! how that father’s heart must yearn for his beautiful darling, his Mary’s child. But God is his father and I know he will say “He doeth all things well”.
Merciful, loving Father, fill his bleeding heart with heavenly consolation and grant that he may meet his loved ones in Heaven to join with them in singing the mighty chorus of praise to the Lamb, forever and forever.
SEA

Sep. 9, 1865
Dear little cousin Mary is dead. Oh!  How we shall miss the merry view of her whom we have known but a few  short years- those bright happy years of infancy and childhood. The house will seem lonely and desolate without her.
The (unknown) of the family is gone. God’s bright angel took her to a home far purer and happier than this earthly one, now so sad and desolate. May our Father with His wondrous love sanctify this heavy sorrow to every member of that stricken family and enable each one to say “He doeth all things well”, “Though He slay me yet I will trust in Him”, and grant that they may meet the little sister with the other loved ones in the home where parting never comes.
SEA

Sep 10, 1865
Sunday
This week I am to commence school again (not tomorrow, on account of dear little Mary Emma’s funeral). I hope to accomplish much, very much this Fall and Winter. Oh! How I must improve each precious moment given me in which to obtain the golden fruit of knowledge- a knowledge which used aright, with the blessing of God, will enable me to be the medium through which a vast amount of good may be done for the poor, sin-stricken souls of fallen humanity, to bring them up into the glorious liberty of the children of God. Surely, such an object is well worth toiling for- such a result well worth taxing every latent, every moment of a lifetime.
SEA

Oct 2, 1865
Evening
Tonight is the last in which I can say I am fifteen. Tomorrow is my 16th birthday. Sixteen years have I lived- and now tonight, is it strange that I must think ? but my thoughts are more in the future than in the past- What will those years bring to me of joy or sorrow- what agonizing- what heart rending griefs may I in my inmost soul- all alone- be called to endure- all alone as regards human sympathy, for how could I unveil the griefs of a sacred heart sorrow to other hearts- all burdened with their own cares and griefs. But Jesus will ever be the Friend to whom I can go and tell it all. What of joy will those far, future years bring to me. Will they bring the purest of earthly joys, aye, the heavenly joy of Love- Love to lighten every trial, Love to purify and make precious every moment of existence till our freed spirits mount upward to the realm of light and glory where the King- the Father is Love- to attain its full consummation in the radiance of that Love?
Shall they bring ought of honor, and fame? If so, may it be the honor which cometh to the workers in the vineyard of Christ. May the first of honor be just beneath the Cross. The history of those future years I cannot tell. I leave them all in the hands of Him who doeth all things well, and say Father, Thy will, not mine, be done.

Jan 20, 1866
Saturday night
Today we have had a call from our old school teacher. Mr. Whiting. If anything, he is better looking a man than he used to be. We had a pleasant time; he gave us an outline of his life in the army (unreadable) better of the changes of the army and where he had been during his connection with it. He lay in a hospital for some time, but I am very glad he is not, as we heard at one time, dead.  We sang several pieces, and I think he had a pleasant call. One piece he liked so well we sang it twice for him. (On, One, On) He sang a little for us. It was very pleasant to see him again after such a long, long time; we were but little girls when he went away, at least Fannie and I. Mary gave him one of her pictures (vignettes) and he is to send her one in return next week. I am glad of that because I can see it if it is hers. Hence very much I used to admire him. I knew he was not perfect, but I loved him in a certain way of mine, not as I shall love, but full and complete for those early child-woman years (unreturned as it was and must necessarily have been, but now all that is over and I am happy to meet him as a friend and scholar.
It is rainy to night.  We expected to meet him at Singing school this evening, but we have none on account of the weather and walking also.
Otis has spent the evening with me however and I have had a pleasant time. He assisted me about an example in Algebra, and that was very nice as I had tried it some time and had not succeeded in obtaining the correct answer.
S.E.A.

Sunday night
Mr Whiting was at S.S. this morning. I think he has left Elmwood to day. This afternoon, Mr. Otis preached to us. This evening Prof. Diman from the text “Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian”. It was a fine sermon. Otis was there and came home with me, but did not come in to night. It was just as well, nay better, for Frank and Mary occupied the parlor.

(Son of Rhode Island Governor Byron Diman, J. Lewis was born in Bristol, RI in
1831. After graduating from Brown University in 1851, he spent two years in
Europe, studying at the Universities of Halle, Heidelberg, and Berlin. 
Following his graduation from Andover Theological Seminary in 1856, Diman spent
four years as pastor of the First Congregational Church in Fall River,
Massachusetts, then four years at the Harvard Church in Brookline. He was
appointed Professor of History and Political Economy at Brown University in
1864, remaining seventeen years.  He died in Providence in 1881.)  http://wheatoncollege.edu/college-history/1870s/professor-jl-diman/

I have been wanting very much to go to Mt. Holyoke next fall, but father is not able to send me, and I thank my heavenly Father that I can say “Thy will be done.” He gave me all the powers I have and He is able to perform all His will concerning me and I feel sure that He has given me this perfect submission to His will in this case. It is blessed to trust thus in God. I am still attending school and probably shall be able to until I finish some of my studies.
S.E.A.

Feb 4, 1866
I have received a vignette of Mr. Whiting. I am very glad! When he was here, I asked him when he promised to send Mary and Maria one, but did not much expect one by what he said. He wrote in the note to Mary that he should come to Providence in about two weeks and should call at Elmwood, so I may see him again. I wonder if he fancies Mary. I hope he does not, because I know Frank does, and it might not end pleasantly. I have () to return but he shall have my thanks if he ever comes to receive them and perhaps sometime a picture.
S.E.A.
Feb24, 1866
Saturday night! The last vacation day is past. Last week Friday my school closed the winter term. I succeeded in my determination of being punctual and present every half day of the term. Mr. Quinby is not to teach next term. He is to be a Dr, I am glad I could go as long as I did and thank my Father for His kindness, and now I will try to do every duty faithfully at home and wherever it is His will that I should be. Fannie will go next term. Are all my school-days over? I know not. Certainly my days of learning are not if my school-days are. They were happy days. I shall always love them. Now I shall improve any leisure time in reading. Oh, thank God for books! What could I do without them? It seems to me there would be a want in any soul that company and other pleasures could more fill if they were denied me. Next Monday I intend to I intend to begin my new routine of life in earnest. Heavenly Father help me to do right always. May each duty be performed with a Christian spirit. I have nearly finished reading “Pollok’s Course of Time”. It is different from anything I ever read. I like some parts of it very much- as a whole I think it might have a good effect on some minds, but am not sure that it would upon all. 
It is raining to night. I can hear it plainly as I am writing in my room. ‘Twill be pleasant to lie in bed and hear the gentle ‘patter of the soft rain on the roof’. Last night I went to a donation party at our minister’s (Mr. Root). He intends to leave us in April. He sent in his resignation at our last church meeting Tuesday night. He has been a true friend to me and God will reward him in the great day. I joined the church March 1865 and was baptized by him. He is a real Christian minister and although not as powerful or fascinating in his delivery as many, yet he is a living, every day Christian. I shall always think highly of him. He leaves of his own accord. We had a pleasant time. Willie came home with me in the evening. We had a long talk about some letters which he was very anxious to know about.
S.E.A.
March 3, 1866
I have news to write about to night over which the Angels in Heaven rejoiced. Otis has become a Christian. Thank God for it. I have prayed that he might be one, and the prayer has been heard and answered. He told me to night as we were coming from singing school. I had not seen him before in a fortnight. He told me that he had made up his mind to be a Christian and that he spoke in meeting last Sunday night. I told him I was glad, very glad- that I hoped he would never change it- and did not think he would. Oh! how I hope he will be ever faithful and true to his divine Master.
S.E.A.


March 16, 1866
Last Monday morning Frank started for Illinois. Mary missed him very much- they were engaged a little while before he went away. His health is poor and he had gone for the benefit which it is hoped he will receive from a change of climate, and exercise in the open air. He has been confined to a store, as bookkeeper for the first few years. I hope he will come back strong as well. If his health improves, he will stay until next summer; if not, probably he will return in a few weeks. I like him very much, and shall be happy to welcome him as a brother.
Mary saw Mr. Whiting this morning with Mr. Windsor- So he is in Elmwood again. We are invited to spend the evening at Mrs. Wood’s tonight. I wonder if he will be there- if he is not, quite likely he will call. I don’t know whether he likes it or not, because Mary did not, answer his note. I shall give him my oral thanks for the picture, and she can make it all right about the letter.
Last Monday, I visited Mr. Mowry’s school. It was “public declamation” day. Otis spoke a piece on the Right of Self Preservation. All of the exercises were interesting. I had a very nice time- came home with brother Albert.
S.E.A.
March 21, 1866
Yesterday noon my darling Julia came to see me and staid (sic) until evening. We had a nice long talk. I have not seen her in a long, long while. It was a real luxury. I expect to return her visit soon and stay all night. I shall enjoy it very much, I am quite sure. Mr. Whiting did not call. I think he did not like it. Perhaps it will be all right sometime.
April 13, 1866
Friday
Last evening I spent at Julia’s, had a very pleasant time- was introduced to Mr. Earl, the gentleman at the place where Julia works. Julia had represented him to me as splendid, and as far as I have become acquainted with him, I do not deny any of the flattering epithets applied to him. But what shall I do? I wrote her a letter, just before going, stating the evening and also several things in reference to Mr. Earl- and he obtained the letter by force- and then in some way found an opportunity to read it- that which was intended only for Julia. It can’t be helped now. Oh! how I want to see Julia and ask her all about what he said this morning, and if she has got the letter again. She told me about it last evening before he came, and I, of course, must not appear to know anything about it. In playing criticism, I admired him for his curiosity, and he knew it was I who said it. I wonder if he took the hint. I hope he did, for I did really want him to know, at least suspect, that I knew it. I shall not feel perfectly satisfied until I either hear from or see Julia. I hope to spend the night with her next week.
Mr. Earl is a little over thirty, not very tall, neither short, dark eyes, black eyes, moustache and whiskers, gentlemanly in appearance. I like him. If I were as well acquainted with him as Julia, I might see as much to admire. I think I shall be better acquainted some time. He came home with me, although there was no necessity for it, as Mary and Albert were with me. He boards on Hospital St. with Mr. Wilson, who lives in the same house with Frank’s uncle. (undeciphered three words) Farewell Journal until I see my Julia, and hear from her own life the many things I want her to tell me.
S.E.A


April 28, 1866
Saturday
Mother came home from Exeter today, bringing the sad news of our dearly loved grandmother’s death. We shall miss  the dear old face which was want to smile so lovingly (undeciphered word) us. all the little acts of kindness are over now. But we believe she is happy with the loved one gone a few months before. I cannot wish her back again, but the memory of those dear aged loved ones will always be fresh and verdant, while memory and life shall last.
S.E.A.
May 3, 1866
Last Saturday night I received a letter from Julia containing orders for me to present my self at the shop at 3 or a little after Tuesday afternoon, also various injunctions to have my hair caught back with ribbon, look perfectly, &c. The letter was written at the shop directed by Mr. Earl. That I might have some idea of what was required, I was informed that there was to be an entertainment at city hall consisting of tableaux, music, &c and she could not go where I made myself visible. The rest was left to any active imagination which easily filled the blank. I could not go as early as she wished, on account of our dear grandmother’s funeral which occurred at Phoenix the same afternoon, and I could not possibly get in town until after 6 o’clock.
I wrote her a note informing her of the facts, and promised to come to her directly after I arrived in Providence, which I did a few minutes past 6. They had all left the shop before I arrived there, so I proceeded to her house- was met with a warm kiss from my darling and then went in and arranged Julia’s hair in vanity puffs for the evening. Julia expected Mr. Earl for us with the ticket. We were ready about half past 7 and Julia thinking Mr. Earl might have been necessarily detained, but that we might meet him at any rate, should see him by the time we arrived there. And as Misses Dunn were to accompany us, and the folks in general seemed in a hurry, and thought we were a long time getting ready. Julia thought best for  us to go fearing that it might be crowded. We reached the hall, but saw nothing of Mr. Earl. Julia concluded to buy the tickets, as of course, Mr. Earl would make it all right when we saw him. We found it not at all crowded, and after waiting a little while I saw Mr. Earl. Julia left me to keep the seat and went to meet him. Greatly soon they came back. We shook hands and he ensconced himself in a seat between us. He thought Julia a great manager and asked my opinion. I thought her commendable under the circumstances, although I thought I should have waited if he said he would come. He came to the house very soon after we left, and some one there supposing we went in (two words unintelligible) he went to the place where we should take it, and kept the track the remainder of the way- so there was no possibility of his (unintelligible word) us. He said knowing how long it usually took ladies to arrange their hair, he thought he would give us plenty of time. I hope he won’t give us quite as much another time. We had a pleasant time; the tableaux were splendid and the music I could not help enjoying. It was a May Festival. We had ice cream during intermission. When we went home it was raining. (I staid with Julia that night). She would go with Miss Dunn and I was to go with Mr. Earl, according to her arrangement. The walk home was not unpleasant notwithstanding the rain; it was nearly twelve, but Mr. Earl concluded to come in and have some water. Staid a few minutes and took his departure gracefully. Julia was not to go to work next day, as there was not much to do, and she had his consent to stay at home.
The clock struck one before we slept that night. In the morning, much to my satisfaction, it rained very hard, so, of course, I should not be expected home. I puffed Julia’s hair and she curled mine; then she worked on Almon’s slippers, and I read to her. She showed me several beautiful sets of clothes, made in reference to her marriage. Towards noon, it grew pleasanter, but Julia was not willing for me to come home until afternoon any way. A little while after luncheon, quite early in the afternoon, the door bell rang. Mrs. Dunn who had been expecting her Dr., went to the door. We were in the sitting room on the lounge. We heard them talking in the entry and very soon both became convinced it was Mr. Earl. Which conviction proved for once a certainty. Julia called me into the parlor, where we (undeciperable word) our caller for the remainder of the afternoon. Sometimes Julia left me alone, but most of the time she was with me. We played backgammon once- afterwards Mr. Earl wanted me to play and sing. After being obliged to accept my statement that I could not play the accompaniment to a single song that was there, he still wanted me to sing. After a great many askings and as many refusals, he still seemed unwilling to give it up. I told him that if he and Julia would come () some evening, Fannie (several words undecipherable) would sing- but that was not satisfactory. He wanted me to sing without music. After Julia and I were all ready to start, Mr. Earl still sat in the rocking chair and informed me that he was going to have some singing if  () visit with Sarah (). Jula wanted him to go with her. He would go if I would sing. Jula proposed Come Home Father and I sang it I hope satisfactory. In fact he asked me so many times, I gave up caring anything particularly about it.
He does know that I am acquainted with the fact of his reading that letter. He has not given it back yet either. He walked a short distance with us, and then left us on account of an engagement. After furnishing me with a car ticket, which I accepted, as I had none with me and it was not best for me to walk home. Jula and I called at Mary’s and there I left her to walk up part of the way with Mary while I took the car for home after having had a very pleasant time.
S.E.A.
Friday June 15, 1866
It is a beautiful June morning- the dear little birds are singing their Alleluias of praise to our Father in Heaven. How I love these bright summer mornings. Today must be a busy day, and I cannot write long- Last evening Julia and Mr. Earl walked out out to Elmwood. Fannie and I were playing and singing “Triumph”, a piece running to A- when Mr. Earl was announced. I greeted him and went directly into the entry, for I was quite sure Jula was with him as she certainly was. They staid the remainder of the evening. I had a pleasant time and I trust they did. I was rather sorry cousin Hattie happened to be here that evening because she and Jula are not the best of friends on account of certain events which transpired while we all worked at the penholder shop- but I managed it nicely. If Mr. Earl does not go to a wedding Sunday, they will probably come out to Elmwood to hear Mr. Trales whom Mr. Earl is acquainted with and would like much to see. I expect Frank Thomas and Josie Kent to night. I was introduced to F.T. at a May party a little while ago with Otis. I think I shall like him.
S.E.A
Friday night
Frank and Josie have been here. The evening was spent pleasantly. F. is very ingenious, and very graceful- altogether, my impressions were not unfavorable.
S.E.A.
Sunday 17 1866
Mr. Earl was at church this afternoon. I did not see him until just after the close of service; he waited in the entry until we came out, afterward went in again, shook hands with Mr. Wales in a manner that wouild do one’s heart good in these times, talked with him some time, then concluded he would wait and hear us sing. He didn’t think it advisable to take tea with us, accordingly took the car for Providence. Jula was not with him- she is not to work for him any more, as there is not enough work for both, and Jula is going to work on Warren St., not very far from where I live, and I shall see her often, I think.
S.E.A.
Monday June 25, 1866
Last night the choir and several others stopped after church, as they often do, some singing and some talking. The moon shone beautifully. I preferred looking at that to singing just then. They didn’t want the window open where they were singing and pretty soon Will preferred that we should go out and look at it. We went, walked a little way, looked at his garden, rather, Mr. Mowry’s, by moonlight, and then I thought we had better go home. We were walking quite slowly when Fannie came out from Mrs. Rexford’s to meet me with the information that Jula and Almon were in there and wanted me to come in. I was going to scold her for not coming to see me, but she told me she did come, but could not get in, and so they went there, as Jula was acquainted with the Rexford girls. We had a pleasant time. I only wished I might have known it before, as I could have seen her so much longer, but of course I couldn’t. Almon is going back to day. Next Saturday, Jula is going. She will spend the 4th at Boston. I don’t know how much longer she will stay. I intend to go down street to morrow, and shall call at the shop. I expect them to call on us before long.
S.E.A.


July 11, 1866
Brother Allie’s school closed last week on Tuesday. I attended the exhibition;  it was very interesting, but the day was, as one of the gentlemen who addressed the school remarked , very hot. The exercise consisted of singing, orations, opened with prayer by Rev. Mr. Vose, short addresses by Mr. Vose and to (sic) other gentlemen present, closing with a parting song
F. Thomas came home with me, leaving Otis in the city drinking water; it was sometime after school. Fannie and I had been out, met and Jarred Thomas and Otis (undeciphered word) Main St; afterwards saw J. Kent and returned with him to the school room. Fannie left me while there, and after teasing Jasie a long while to tell me what he was waiting for, I went over to the Arcade a minute after agreeing to come back, as he had promised to tell me something about it then. When I returned, Otis and Thomas were there too, and the reason of his waiting was clearly visible. I went into one of the rooms, opened a window on the sunny side. Frank had an idea that there was a shady one somewhere, finding which we sat down on the window sill enjoying meanwhile a fine view of Westminster St. Soon after Otis came in and took a seat near us; after considerable coaxing I succeeded in obtaining their reports, although in waiting for Thomas I missed one car. He proposed that he should walk home with me. I answered “yes” adding I should laugh if you did. However, after getting some water for me, we went out together, leaving Otis as above mentioned walked down Westminster, met Fannie, and a few minutes after to N. Main St and met the car, but not hailing it. I concluded I would walk home and Fannie take the car. I had quite a pleasant walk. Haven’t seen either of them since, as we did not go down the 4th in consequence of the unpleasant weather.  




The Providence Arcade: Built in 1828, the Arcade is the nation’s oldest indoor shopping mall and remains the historic heart of Providence’s downtown. This beautiful structure with its distinguished Greek Revival columns, granite walls and classic facades still stands barely touched through its more than 183 years watching over Westminster and Weybosset Streets.  – See more at: http://www.arcadeprovidence.com/history/#sthash.dTg55wCa.dpuf
July 18, 1866
Wednesday
The last week was an eventful one. Just a week ago to day, another was taken sick. Grandfather was very sick at the time, having been confined to his room over two weeks.  It was his last illness; he continued to grow weaker until last Friday evening he breathed his last breath without  a groan or a struggle. After long and severe suffering his struggling spirit has heard the call of the Savior for which it was waiting and freed forevermore from sin, suffering and sorrow has gone home to be at rest with Jesus. We laid his body in the tomb yesterday. The family burying ground is in Coventry- little brother Charlie is buried there.
In less than two years, three of my grandparents have died, only one remains- she is with us. May we make her remaining days pleasant with the sunshine of love. Mother is improving daily. I hope she will soon be well again. I was banxious about her at one time, but the unfavorable symptoms have passed away and with care and rest I trust she will soon be able to fill the place a true mother always holds.
S.E.A
Aug 23, 1866
Last Saturday afternoon I went to see Jula at her place of work on Warren St. She has the charge of the packing room.
Since I have written to you, confidential Friend, my Jula has spent one night with one, a  circumstance joyful enough to acquaint you with certainly. Arriving at the office I inquired if I might see Miss Nutting, and soon had said pleasure.  I remained with her till six, then walked home with her. I saw a very pretty wedding handkerchief, a present from Almon, listened to two letters from Mr. Earl who has been a way from Providence some time. I know not whether he has yet returned. Jula let me take one he wrote some time ago, a rather ludicrous specimen. I intend to report some of the contents in some way the next time I have an opportunity, so that he may know that he is not to have all the advantage on his side. Jula says he has several of my letters now-  he does not speak of them to me however.
Jula has promised to go to Rocky Point with me. I anticipate a pleasant time. I have not been down the river for years. It will be delightfully free to sail on the blue waters once more.
S.E.A.
Saturday Night Aug 25, 1866
Tonight is one of God’s perfect ones. The full silvery moon shines so lovingly down with not one cloud to obscure its glory.
Today has been a busy one. Our boarders, Albert Handy and his wife, have arrived. The latter part of the afternoon and evening we have spent in making the carpet, putting it down, and setting the furniture in some shape into the room.
Now it is very late and I must rest a few hours. Brother Allie went to Camp meeting yesterday, coming back Monday. Oh, if he would but come back a noble earnest Christian. I know that he must be one, and why not now?
I received a letter from Jula to night, saying that Mr. Earl had arrived, he came yesterday. Mrs Ferris is expected to night, and if she can prevail upon both to remain in Providence until Tuesday, they will spend Monday evening with me. I surely hope they will.
S.E.A.
Sep 2, 1866
Sunday evening, Jula, Mr. Ferris, and Mr. Earl came. After they had been here a little while, Mr. Earl and I went after Lucy Dodge to come over; we met her coming to the store. We came back with her, waited, and accompanied her home, remained until she was ready to return with us. We had music and singing. Lou sang Evangeline at Mr. Earl’s request which was heartily seconded by me. Tis very beautiful; she sings very prettily.
The evening seemed altogether too short- at least the last car came altogether too soon to suit us, but Jules was obliged to go, not thinking it best to walk- she has been quite lame. I hope I may see, at least hear from her this week.
Tuesday I went to Block Island. I was not sick at all until quite a distance beyond Newport, then not nearly as sick as some are. I had a pleasant time my fashion however, watching the water, sky, and  vessels. We had a beautiful sunset just as we were coming up to Providence, where we arrived at seven. The boat touched at Rocky Point and Newport. The Point looked very pretty. I think it doubtful about going there this summer. Sister Mary came home yesterday. She has been away nearly three weeks. She has had a nice time. Now we are all at home; there are ten in our family and the work is of course considerable.
Our boarders have been with us a week. Mary likes Elmwood very much. I do not see how any one could do otherwise, it is such a lovely, beautiful place.
S.E.A.
Sep 9 1866
Last Wednesday, Mary, Allie and I went to Commencement. I enjoyed it very much. The music is glorious. What a noble institution our colleges are- thank God for the founders!
Friday, Frank came back. Mary thinks he does not look any better than when he went away, but he says he feels stronger. How I wish he might be well again.
Cousins Kate and Artie Chadsey came Friday afternoon. I have never seen them until then, I think. Cousin Jerry came in the evening; they are pleasant. I like them.


Tomorrow, Allie and Fannie are going to school. I am so very, very glad. Albert will keep right on at Mowry and Goff’s, Fannie will go to Fountain St. if she can enter. I hope she will learn rapidly as of course she will if she is well, and dear brother Allie, it is such a joy for me to know he is getting an education, and he too has wanted to very much. Will the great longing in my soul ever cease? God only knows, He has given them, He can satisfy if it is not. He could not have made me with such great desires for knowledge if they could never, never be filled. In His love I trust and wait.
S.E.A.
Exeter, R.I.
Sep 21, 1866
Friday
Yes, I am at Exeter, the dear old place; have been here a week, but we have been so very, very busy getting auntie ready that I have had no time to acquaint you with the fact. Auntie started today for our house carrying baby and Janie with her, leaving one to exercise a motherly jurisdiction over Olive, Charlie,  Mary, and little Willie, grandfather’s namesake and image. Uncle Clarke thrown in of course, but men usually think they can take care of themselves.
Saturday- To day I have had my hands full- cooking, cleaning, and mending; hoping to have more rest when the house is once fairly set in order.
Sunday 23


This evening after an early supper, and at last a feeling that at last the work for the day was over. I thought I would indulge in the relaxation afforded by a walk. The air was delightfully clear, rather cool, just before a beautiful September sunset.  I intended at first to go into the orchard, but instead we went over to the old church on the hill- now desecrated by use as a crib and depository for whatever the person using it may choose to put in. How very sad it seems to walk along the aisles up into the old fashioned pulpit and think of the place once filled with worshippers and God’s chosen ones- now mouldering away unnoticed, uncared for except for the service of Mammon.
After returning we (Mary, Oliver and I) went down the lane for the horse, found him at the end of it; had a great time coming back. Oliver rode, I made penny work leading him a part of the way, at last gave up and laughed. When we were again family at home, the moon had risen and was shining most beautifully. I proposed a walk down the road a little way, not intending to go to any one’s house. We had gone a little beyond the old (undecipherable word) when O. proposed going down that a little way and directly after upon that, of going down to Albert Brown’s.(he by the way has been up here three times since I have been here) telling me that the old house where my mother was born was there. I, of course, was pleased with the idea of seeing it, and we concluded to go- Charlie soon overtook us and we all went down- explored a small part of the old house- a large part has been taken away- but enough remained to give me an idea of what the antiquated building once might have been. We went into Mrs. Brown’s a little while at the invitation of herself and son, staid a little while and then came home in a most romantic sort of fashion imaginable, climbing stone walls, rail fences, going on nearly every  thing in the way of rock and bushes, enjoying a most glorious moonlight, pure air- trying to keep one of  little Will’s hands warm- the other being in one of the boy’s pockets.
Young Brown accompanied us home, helped me over a stone wall, and attempted to help me over a rail fence, but rather hindered me, as instead of getting over, I was obliged to go back to the ground and then with (undecipherable)  solemnity got over my self all right. We were coming home, a short way, being anything but still, when we were overtaken by Uncle Clark. He had been traveling around in search of us, and I know he was displeased. He thought this was fine housekeeping and that he should write to Aunt Betsy to come home right away, but after arriving at home, due explanations, &c, I think he has arrived at a much more delectable state of mind. I, although, not at all inspired by him with fear, shall endeavor that nothing of the kind shall happen again, as of all things I would not have Auntie recalled until she has finished her visit, and it is not pleasant to have such things occur. I shall certainly try to be faithful to my charge. With God’s help I trust the time may not be wasted.
S.E.A.
Exeter, Oct 3, 1866
Evening
I am seventeen today. Childhood days are all past; youth is passing very, very rapidly. How short the last year has been! Today has been a busy one. I have certainly not begun my year in a lazy way. To night for the past few minutes I have been writing acrostics for Oliver and Charlie. We have heard from Auntie to day. I think by her letter, that she will not come home until the last of next week. I hope I may do my whole duty. God help me all the year- all the future years to live for Him.
S.E.A.
Exeter Sunday Oct 13, 1866
My fifth Sunday from home is past. Next Sunday I shall probably be in dear old Elmwood again, in my accustomed  place in the little church, listening to Mr. Wales, our much loved new minister. He was installed and ordained just before I left home.

Elmwood Congregational Church was organized May 14, 1851, with a membership of ten, all of which, with but one exception, came from other churches.  The present membership is about two hundred.  Its pastors have been Revs. William H. Wilcox, Reuben Torrey, William A. Mowry, James P. Root, Henry A. Wales, Jeremiah Taylor, and G. F. Humphries, the present incumbent. (History of Providence with Illustrations, Albert J. Wright printer,  Philadelphia 1878



Auntie came home yesterday, and any place is home and at home I soon expect to be. I am not really decided whether to go Monday or Wednesday. Auntie would like for me to stay until the latter, but Fannie in her last letter urges me to come very strongly and for a reason she is forbidden to tell. I know the dear little thing (although she is as tall as I) wants to see me and certainly mother and all the rest will give me a welcome.
I think tomorrow will find me there.
S.E.A.
Elmwood Oct 17, 1866
Home again! Tis joyful words, for there is no place at home. This afternoon I said Good Bye to all the dear ones at Exeter, and although not at all homesick, was glad to come to my own dear Elmwood and the home friends again. Monday with my little cousin Mary and Charlie I went chestnutting. I had really a nice time, picking up chestnuts both in the bushes and out, tearing my dress and doing various other things only to be enjoyed in the country. 
Allie met me at the depot and cousin William glad to see me and I certainly am glad, very glad, to see them.
To night I have been to the sewing circle with Fannie. Mary and Frank went too, but before we were ready Fannie the little darling has bought me a beautiful portfolio for my birthday present. Oh, it is sweet to be remembered and loved.
Tomorrow morning I must get up early and help get our boarders breakfast. Ought to be clasped in the arms of Morpheus now.
S.E.A
Thanksgiving Night
Nov 25
Thanksgiving surely would not pass without a page added to the record.
Frank has spent the day with Mary. Fayette Bennett was here last night and this morning, also Mr. Buffington and brother in law called upon Mary  Handy in the morning, but I was too busy to see them.
This evening, Fannnie, Albert, James Wightman and myself have spent at  Mr. Brown’s in East Providence. The weather has been showery all day, and we had a  great many anxious watchings of clouds &c, but, to our great pleasure we were allowed to go.
We lost our way going, but upon sufficient inquiries, were set right again. It was very dark and rainy, but after several adventures one of which carried within a few feet of going into the river, we arrived safely.  We had a splendid time and returned without any misfortune through an immense amount of rain most of the way. The good time was enough to make up for all inconveniences of going and coming, and thus ends my Thanksgiving Day.
S.E.A.
Elmwood, Thursday
Dec 13, 1866
Sister Mary and Frank are married. This morning they took upon themselves those holy vows, binding them in one holy union which, God grant, may last many happy years; but this future is very uncertain to our poor mortal vision. Frank is far from well, but I am not entirely without hope concerning him. I do hope he may get well but the Great Father of us all knoweth what is best. He doeth all things well.
They started for Taunton between ten and eleven. Mrs Root and I accompanied them to the depot and went into the cars with them. I gave them both a kiss, then we waited outside until the car started and went to Mrs. Root’s store. Jarvis Swan with Mrs. Root  and Henry Bennett with me. From there we took the car for home. They are coming back Saturday, will spend Sunday with us, then go to Mrs. Root’s.
They will have quite a beginning in married life, as Mr. & Mrs. Root are going away Tuesday, carrying only Allie, and having three children, one a baby. She has two girls to do the work however, but Mary must have the care.
Yes, my sister is married. It scarcely seems real. It is the first break in our home circle, except when little Charlie died years ago, before I ever saw the light. And now I suppose I must not forget that I am the oldest daughter at home, and must act accordingly. Frank is a splendid brother. May they live many happy years.
S.E.A


Christmas Eve
Dec 25, 1866
I have just returned from our S.S. Christmas tree at the church. We had a very pleasant time; all seemed happy and satisfied. I spent all the afternoon helping to get it ready. S. Parker came home with me. Josie & Genie made their appearance on the piazza before I came in, so I gave them all a  general invitation to come in, telling them they could stay until nine o’clock. They all concluded to come. Josie and Genie went down street in about two minutes after returning about nine, found S.P. still here, and all stayed until some time after the appointed time. Sammy gave me a pretty, little fancy photographentitled “Prayer”, a beautiful child praying. I do so love such innocent, darling faces.
Josie gave me a sugar band, letting one not to open it till morning, of course I did, next time I see him I shall ask him if his heart goes with it, knowing that he will say “No”. And to-morrow is “Merry Christmas”. I intend to take dinner with Mary & Frank.


Christmas Night
Christmas Day is past and gone. Oh, how very glad we must be for Christmas- the commemoration of the greatest- the Unspeakable Gift of God to favor suffering humanity. It surely ought to be a merry Christmas 
I took dinner with Mary and immediately after Mary and I went with Frank to the shop. We staid down street until Henry went to dinner and returned, and then Frank came back with us. I took supper and spent the evening with them- wrote to Mrs. Root for Mary, and returned home with brother Albert who called for me quite late having just returned from a social of the people at the Musical Institute.
S.E.A.

New Years 1867
Friday evening, Sarah Rexford and I spent with Jula. We went expressly for the purpose of seeing her beautiful wedding outfit. They are very handsome. And now, she is to be married on this Happy New Years day and I shall soon be there to witness the great event.
Evening
Jula is married. By this time they are probably in Boston. We had a pleasant time- dinner about one- she was married a little after three by Mr. Fay. The ceremony was solemn, but pleasant and easy.
Jula looked very pretty, dressed in her travelling suit, gloves to match. Eva Severance and Mel (Staystrom?) with them. Almon looked very satisfied and happy, as he most certainly should. He invited me to call on himself and wife when I come to Boston. They had very pretty wedding cards.
A few minutes after the ceremony they left for the afternoon train- were successful enough to take it by fast driving. Jula had some very pretty presents but was much disappointed about her set of shell jewelry which she was to receive from Mr. Earl and expected to (undecipherable) away. I am sure it must have been a mistake in some way. She received a note the day before, saying he might not be able to be there Tuesday Eve, but the set should. I think he must have had the idea she was to be married in the evening. I shall expect a letter from her soon. She has made great preparations, having earned her things herself, got a great many of them, and they are nice.
I hope my Jula will live to enjoy health, riches, and blessings. May the love never grow less, but heighten with the years.

Thursday, Jan 9, 1867
Today I received a letter from Charlie Nichols (??) containing his, and friend Charlie Johnson’s vignettes. I saw them but one evening at Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving but in that time C.N. apparently took quite a fancy to me and asked for my picture. I returned the compliment by asking for his. I shall have some taken soon and return the favor.
S.E.A.

Jan 31, 1867
I have received my vignettes from the photographers today, they are very good. To night I have written to C.N. and sent two of them in return for his and C.J. I don’t know whether this will be the end of our short acquaintance or not, as I have not written in my answer which will require an answer from him, consequently don’t know whether the correspondence will continue or not.
S.E.A.

Elmwood Jan 29,1867
Tuesday
Jula came to see me to day. She came home on a short visit, is going back this afternoon. Almon was not with her, having gone home before she did. It seems to her a long time since she saw him, although but a very few days. She seems happy, and doubtless is very happy in his love, but oh, how much happier she would be if she only knew too the great dying, living love of Christ. Every life that realizes not that divine, unchangeable, all prevailing love, must be imperfect, incomplete. Jula has singular religious views, but God is able to show her the Truth and oh, that he would show it to her just as it is in Jesus.
She finds that boarding is not just like home, but that must be expected anywhere.
Sister Mary finds some difference, but she is very devoted to Frank and has never for a moment regretted her marriage; he is a dear loving husband and I believe she loves him all the more, because he is sick and so much in need of love and sympathy.
S.E.A.

Feb 8, 1867
I have been to a social company at Lizzie Samson’s this evening, had a very pleasant time, there were quite a number there, amongst them Sammy Parker. I said but very little, if anything, to him the first part of the evening- at refreshments he waited upon Lottie James, which did not displease me in the least. I stood opposite him at the end of the table. He held out very well for a while but soon commenced talking across the table to me saying He was at the head. I told him the first should be last. After refreshments and singing, several of us went into one of the parlors and occupied one of the sofas. Lottie James, Josie Kent on one side of one; S. Parker and Fannie on the other and Charlie Brown in my lap. (he, having returned from N.Y. a day or two before) I stood, or rather, sat it for a while and then with considerable effort succeeded in getting up. About twelve we came home. I did not intend that S.P. should come home with me. I left the piazza alone with Albert and Maria directly ahead of me, had taken but two or three steps when he came side of me saying that he wanted me. I replied quickly “you can’t have me”, but concluded that he might come as far as home with me as he seemed to think he could and I did not care after what I had told him. Charlie staid all night and until ten the next morning. After breakfast we sang several pieces that the boys used to sing at Mr. Mowry’s school where he attended formerly. Sunday morning, S. looked very sober. I wonder if Friday night had anything to do about it. I can only guess- I hope he does understand me. If he doesn’t, it is his fault, not mine.
Feb 13
Mary Handy came back to day; she has been gone nearly eight weeks. We are glad to see her again.
S.E.A.

March 7, 1867
To day our friend Nellie Kent was married to George Inman- Willie’s brother- Mary was at the wedding. She looked very pretty- dressed in blue silk, white on her hair, bands and flowers. They took the next train for Boston, will return Saturday. I hope she will live many happy years. Two of Willie’s “sisters” are married now- Mary and Nellie. Two remain- Fannie and I, but I suppose we shall go the way of nearly all the earth, bye and bye.
Abbey Dodge, sister to my friend Emma, who formerly lived in Elmwood, was married this week to James Hotchkiss, Mrs. Mowry’s nephew. I have written to Jula but have received no answer yet. I expect one soon, either in bodily form or that of a letter; I think the former full as probable as the latter as she says she had rather come from Boston to see me than write me a letter. I wonder how long the marrying fever will rage- My sister, my most intimate friend, a friend of many years, and others have all- all changed from single blessedness to double within a short time. I wish them all much happiness.
I wish too they were all Christians. They need Jesus so very much in their hearts to purify and bless all their lives, just then, in the beginning of life, when they must live and act for themselves the responsibilities of society- perhaps those of parents and, oh, how very, very important it seems to me- it is that they should be true, noble Christians. Nellie has belonged to the church many years. George, I think, is a church member, but Mamie, Jula, Frank and Almon, I do so want them to give their all to Jesus and really live. God knows, but I must pray and wait.
S.E.A.

March 11, 1867
Today my Jula has been to see me and tell me good bye. She is going out West, to Indianapolis, Ind. They will start Tuesday- next week. Almon has had a fine offer, in one of the largest houses of the kind in the city. He is to do their best work, and begins with a salary of $1500 for the first year. And so they are going far away and I may not see them in a long long time, but I shall never, never forget our love for each other if miles and years should separate us. But I think I may see her again, as her mother lives in the city, and she certainly will want to come home, sometime. We shall write to each other (undecipherable) I am very glad there are such dear precious things as letters. They will board for a while. I hope she will be happy in her new home. They have letters of introduction to some of the inhabitants of the city. The prospect of future prosperity seems bright. God grant it may not be darkened, and that they may come out into the true light which knows no shadow, for Christ is the everlasting Sun is my prayer for my Jula and her husband.
S.E.A.
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(The date originally written in the next entry was April 18, but has been written over with the date March 29, 1873  The script from this entry on is less flowing, and is written in pencil.

How long ago it is since I wrote in these pages- and how much has been done- how many loved- and lost in these last busy years. So full of their own work and care and love that no time has been given to write it down- But a great change has come into my life so sudden- so sad. I must write it all down so that in future years my precious children may read and learn to know how dear and noble a man their father was. Years ago when I was fifteen and he eighteen we joined the little church in Elmwood with several members of the Colwell family. For a long time I felt he was interested in me but did not know that I cared for him. How well I remember the lonely summer night when he told me that he loved me. I thought I did not love him then, but I never doubted his love for me- and I remember how I pitied him because I did not know that I could ever return it, and I felt that his love was pure and true- and surely after these five happy married years I can say with certainty that no man was ever more true in his life and love than my own dear husband- my darling- lying now so still and cold by the side of our precious baby Maude, where sometime I too shall lie when life is all over and my work is all done.
Yes, nearly five years ago (I was eighteen then and he twenty-one), five the 27 of next May, we stood together in the church at Elmwood and pledged ourselves to each other till death should we part- and has that parting really come-  it hardly seems real yet, so young he was to die, only 26 years old. But it is true and I must realize it as the days go by and I have him no more, never hear his loved voice again or feel his kiss of love, for he loved his Lizzie and his precious babies.
We were married in May 1868. That summer we staid at my home and in the fall we commenced to keep house in our own home. We loved each other and we were very happy together. In the spring Sam had an offer from a friend that enabled him to go into business. After a little while, he decided to go to Hartford and commence the wire (?) goods business in that city. There was no place in the city at the time of the kind and the prospect of success looked fair. We came in April four years ago next month, moved into a house in the north part of the city on Wooster St and again started in our new home. But love came with us and altho’ separated from all other friends I was happy and contented. We soon found new friends- in the little chapel kind hearts welcomed us and we were soon at home in the new city. In June sister Mary came to live with me. Frank had died and she was left alone. She wrote a while in Providence, but not being strong she was glad to come to me and have a change. In August of that year (1869) my first babies were born- a few weeks before I was twenty. I became the mother of two little girls- my twin babies. How we loved them, Sam and I. He never knew until he had them of his own how precious little children were, but he learned it then. His heart was so tender and loving- so like a woman’s in its tenderness. We named our babies Maudie Elizabeth and Mabel Eugenia. Maudie was larger and seemed stronger than Mabel. Both lived until July- they had grown so pretty and cunning. And then my Maudie had cholera infantum, lived two days and a night, and then God took her- precious baby so sweet and beautiful, so gentle in all the little baby ways. But we gave her back and my darling tried to be comforted with the thought that she was happy in Heaven. She died the 18th of July 1870. How he mourned for her- I remember it so well. He was not feeling strong that summer and it was so hard for him to bear. But we had our little Mabel left and that was very much to be thankful for. We had dedicated them both to God and He had seen fit to call one of the little ones home.

Maudie Parker is buried at Spring Grove Cemetery, Hartrford, CT. Her headstone inscription is transcribed incorrectly, with her death year transcribed as 1879 instead of 1870 (29 Aug 1869-18 July 1879) See Ancestry.com for an image. Source: Connecticut Hale Cemetery Inscriptions and Newspaper Notices, 1629-1934.  Samuel and a total of four of Samuel and Sarah’s children are buried there. 114-4 Spring Grove Cemetery, section J. The family headstone must be difficult to read, as Samuel’s birth year is also transcribed incorrectly as 1816 instead of 1846.

We were in Providence at the time of Maudie’s death, visiting at mothers. I staid until August and when I returned Mary and the most intimate friend of her girlhood, Lucy Dodge, came with me. So I had quite a little family. Sam had gone West after little Maudie’s death and when he returned he brought East with him a young lady he had known whose mother he had boarded with before he first left the West. She staid with us seven weeks, then went to visit her friends in Canada. Lucy staid until nearly Thanksgiving, and in that time we had learned to know and love each other. She was called home suddenly to attend her sick father. He lived a few days after she went and then he went home, leaving his much loved Lucy an orphan indeed. All her sisters were married and keeping house in and near Providence. Her lungs had troubled her for some time before she came to Hartford, but while here she had improved very much, at her father’s funeral she took a severe cold which she couldn’t get over while breathing Providence air. We were anxious for her return- Sam, sister Mary and I, and at Christmas time she came again. Dr. Rennick who had formed an attachment for Mary, came with her. He staid but a few days and Lulu could not feel contented because she had left the sister so lonely, the one with whom the father had made a home. She seemed also tormented with a fear that she should be sick, so we kept her but a week and she returned. In the spring her worst fears were realized. She was very sick with an abscess and came very near to death, but God spared her to life again. Mary had returned home in the winter and in time she and Dr. were married. I was alone with Sam and little Mabel from Christmas time till February, when Albert came to live with us and learn the wire business from Sam in preparation to open a store in some other place. In June mother came and made me a nice visit and while she was there Sam went to Prov. and when he returned he brought my dear Lulu back with him. She was so glad to get back again- so happy and contented to be again an inmate of our happy home. She loved our loving home with its family prayers and perfect sympathy in things pertaining to the Christian life.
In Sep., another precious baby was born in our home- our little Bessie. We named her Elizabeth Irene after Lucy and I. She was a nice healthy baby compared with my two very little ones, and so like her father. Almost everyone noticed how much like him she was. My little Mabel was always delicate and often sick- still God spared her little life. In the fall of 1871 Albert went to New Haven to start a new place there, selling bird cages, flower stands, and many other things connected with the wire business. Sam had men manufacture the goods to furnish both places so that Albert only had a store to sell from. Lulu staid with me all through that winter and in the spring she was taken sick- just a little while before the time when we had intended to go home and make a visit. As soon as she was able we went in May. Sam staid to attend to his business- precious husband. He was always so good to let me go- and yet no man loved his home and little ones more than he. I am glad he was so generous hearted. It will be so pleasant to be able to tell the little ones that they had such a father.
We arrived in Prov. safely. Lucy’s brother-in-law met her and after seeing me safely seated in a carriage for Elmwood, she went with him to her sisters and I went to my home. Sister Mary’s first baby had been born and was three weeks old when I went. She was very sick and had not got strong in that time. She was so glad I had come to stay with her. They thought my Bessie was such a nice baby. She was eight months old- just old enough to be beautiful. I staid two weeks at home and then took my little ones and went with sister Fannie to visit some friends in Exeter. My Aunt Betsy whom I had kept house for years ago when I thought I should never marry him, whom I had learned to love so much. While I was there, little Mabel was taken sick and I felt anxious to get home again. I always wanted to be at home with Sam if the babies were not well. I returned to mothers and intended if Mabel was pretty well to make my husband’s only sister- who lived in North Prov.- a visit. But my Mabel suddenly seemed worse and I started for Hartford with them. Sam was glad to have us back again. After I wrote him that little Mabel was not well he could not help feeling anxious about her. Lucy did not return with me. I staid bur three or four weeks- and her sisters could not be satisfied with any such visit from her. She was not well but she decided she would remain with them a while and come to me in time to join the church where we belonged in Sep. The church had been formed and the new house of God built while we had lived on Wooster Street. Sam had grown very dear to the hearts of the people in that young church. At the time of Bessie’s birth, he had been chosen Dea. although but 25 years old. But he seemed older- he was so manly and dignified in his bearing- and yet so modest an unassuming. It was no wonder that with his firm Christian principles and gentle loving voice he should make so many friends.
After I returned home we sent for the Dr. to come for Mabel. He came Friday. I arrived at home on Thursday. He looked pretty serious- thought it unusual her heart was beating fast and hard all of the time and her breaths were short- just the same sleeping or waking. He soon pronounced it an organic affection of the heart- a little enlargement of it. By Sunday he told Sam that he thought her recovery very doubtful. Sam had been to the office for medicine. How sober he looked when he came home with it. And how sad we felt when he told me what the Dr. thought. At Sunday School that afternoon she was prayed for in the little chapel. Sam had felt that he must go to some one and request prayer for his darling feeling that he must leave nothing undone that we could do and then, if after all God should take her, we must say “not my will but thine be done”. But the little girl grew better- it seemed almost wonderful but she was spared to us. A little later Bessie was taken sick and Fannie came to stay with me a little while. In August Lulu came back to us again, but with the feeling that she should never be well again and could only make me a visit and then would have to go home to die. But God knew what was coming for us all better than we could know. About the same time Sam and Albert decided to give up the place in New Haven and be together again. Sam had a plan in his mind which he earnestly hoped to effect, namely to take a contract at the Wethersfield Prison for a certain length of time and have his manufacturing done by the convicts. Of course he would go into the work on a much larger scale and it would take more capital and both Albert and Sam would be needed to carry on the work if his plan was successful. He obtained the contract for 5 years and about the same time a house was to be left empty in the place and we took it and left our friends in the north part of the city and came to live in Wethersfield. Some could hardly feel that it was right for us to leave the church there- but we felt it was. The prospect seemed bright before us. The church in Wethersfield needed help in a spiritual way certainly, and so we communed with bright hopes for the future.
Father helped Albert to get money so that he could become an equal partner in the business with Sam. And together they were working planning and hoping much for its future. Meanwhile Lulu had improved so much, especially after our removal to Wethersfield in September last- that she had begun to feel that there might still be something for her in this world. Albert had known her long and he clung to the hope that she would live when all others seemed to give it up. But now she too began to hope and try to live for him- and the very thought seemed to give her new strength and courage- and a few weeks ago, in the latter part of Feb they were married. Sam and I were the only witnesses. It was very quiet one Sunday night in our neat little parlor. The minister took their pledge of love and pronounced them husband and wife.
The first Sunday in this month- March 1873- we joined the church in Wethersfield, we four a happy family- with the same blessed hope of heaven and the same happy prospects for this life. They boarded with us- and thus we were hoping to go on through the summer- to enjoy as much in this sweet country air when we hoped to the outdoors a great deal and have such a happy time with the dear friends we hoped and expected would come to see me. And now, it is so changed. How can I write the rest. So sad for we all- and for me. Well, God knows best and I must be patient and take from his hand what he sees fit to give me. Three weeks ago tomorrow night he was taken sick. Three weeks ago today we went to church together in the morning. Their Sunday School concert was held in the afternoon and my husband was there and with his class. He stood up and recited the verse “Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord- from henceforth yea saith the Spirit for they rest from their labors and their works do follow them- prophetic words uttered by that pleasant musical voice they or I can never hear again. He went to the prison as usual on Monday, took care of the work for the men- had supper as usual and retired to rest without any warning of what was coming to us on the morrow. In the night he was awakened by a sharp pain through the lungs so that he couldn’t take a long breath. I administered a few simple remedies in the night and in the morning he seemed to be so sick altho’ he got up and dressed himself. That we sent for one of the Wethersfield doctors he came but did not think it would prove anything serious. Prescribed some remedy- came again in the evening- and so continued to come for four days up to Friday morning. But none of the time did he seem to realize that there was any danger to be apprehended, altho each time I think he found him sicker than he quite knew how to account for. Still he thought him better Thursday I believe, and Friday morning- when my poor darling told him of his father’s death- in four days from the time he was taken sick. He told him that he would not die this time, but Friday morn Sam made up his mind that he must have Dr. Taft or Starr- that he was growing sicker and that he should certainly die if he didn’t have a different physician. We have had Dr. Taft so long and have such perfect confidence in him- and of course we could not feel the same for a new Dr. of another kind of practice. After he had made up his mind to change he sent Albert for him, but he was unable to come that night and oh what an afternoon and night that was. So long waiting for them to come, hoping the Dr would come. But Albert returned at night without seeing him. He had waited as long as he could and he had not returned.  Starr was obliged to go somewhere else, so he could not come that night. And my poor darling grew so crazy- and the night seemed to him like days and nights- and so about three o’clock I dressed and waited for the day. Albert started with light for Hartford again to get one of them anyway. In the forenoon Starr came. He came every day after that, twice a day. On Saturday he pronounced it Typhoid Pneumonia. We telegraphed to his only sister Saturday, and Monday she came. He knew her and inquired after her family. He knew us all I think until Tuesday, altho’ so crazed that he could not know he was at home and kept as quiet as possible. It was so pitiful to hear him, trying so hard to get home- never able to rest a moment for hours and hours- no sleep could come to him. And when after taking something to cause sleep, it was so unnatural. I could see that my precious husband was growing sicker and sicker, and though it seemed hardly possible that he should live, still it could not be that my husband, the father of my little ones, was to be taken from me. Monday night his sister and I cared for him. Towards morning he prayed so earnestly for his dear ones, just such a prayer as he might have prayed if he had known what he was saying, repeating the words “at the last for Christ’s sake” three times. After that he could say but little. I think he was dying all day Tuesday. When the Dr. came in the forenoon he thought there was but very little chance for him. When he came at night I know he had given him up. He didn’t think he could hold on till morning. Still, if he should and there was anything like a hope, we were to send for him. And so our darling was really going from me. And we could not stay the heavy hand which was laid upon him. All consciousness of the dear ones around him seemed gone. I could get no answering look from the loving hazel eyes that had looked upon me so many times as his dearly loved wife. A little while after eight in the evening he breathed his last and had forever done with all pain and sickness. ‘Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord” his most fitting epitaph. Surely he rests from his labors and his works do follow him.
But I am left. Little Mabel- poor little girl- she has been miserable all winter. The doctor has pronounced her trouble scrofula settled in the spine. I am afraid she can never be cured and perhaps will grow deformed. But God knows why he took her father and left the little one perhaps to suffer many years. She is nearly four years old now and so smart and quick to learn. Her father felt so badly when he thought his little girl might grow deformed. She cannot walk as well as she used to. Still she can walk as such children do and that is much to be thankful for. God can sanctify it to her best good and with Jesus’ help I must help the little one to grow patient and Christ-like. Little Bessie is a darling, a year and a half now and looks so much like her dear dead father. How she used to put her little arms around his neck and kiss him so many times before she would be satisfied. Afterwards he would tell me about it. He loved his babies so and it pleased him to have her so fond of him. And by and by another little one will be born. I shall have no husband to help me with his gentle love and sympathy. The little one can never see the father who would have welcomed it so fondly. But God knows best- I must have faith and patience- and sometime he will make it all plain even to me.
I intended at first to have the funeral at the house, but afterwards I learned that it would be better to have a part of it at Hartford for those who loved him in Hartford where we had been so much longer than we had here- would be glad to have a service at the church- so- we had a prayer at the house and then took him to the old home church where they loved him so. Surely they could have honored no one more in his burial service than they did my darling. Nothing of evil could be spoken of him. It was all so good and so true. In the church they sang blessed are the dead who die in the Lord and at the grave they sang peacefully lay him down to rest. And so we buried him out of our sight and came back to our quiet home again without him. But he can never really die, never be forgotten. He is mine still, mine always, but I must live on without him caring for the little ones, filling as well as I may the place of both father and mother to them. They are children of the covenant- God will be their God, they will be his children and bye and bye we shall all come together to praise Him who hath loved us and bought us with his own precious blood.
Lizzie Parker

Monday March 31
Today mother and father have gone home. Mother has staid with me more than a week. It was pleasant to have her here. It didn’t seem so lonesome. But it must come sometime- perhaps just as well now as any time. We have the little children, Lulu and I, and they will take up much of the time. Five years ago- how different it all was- I, a young girl of eighteen, getting ready to be married to a men in whom I had always had most perfect confidence and had learned to love well enough to become his wife; he, loving me so truly. Happy in the prospect that soon I should be really his. Well these five years have been happy ones. I would never wish them blotted from my memory and life. We have loved each other well and truly- more dear and precious he grew to me as the years went by. But God loved him and took him- truly he is “blessed”.
And I must go on as (undecipherable) as I can. Sam has left me a life insurance of $5000.00 for me and the little ones. That will help me very much. And Albert will go on with the business himself and I shall make their home mine. We have been together so long. No other place would seem so homelike to me as with them. My things will all be here, and although I expect now to spend the summer in Prov. and stay until baby is born, after that (in the winter) I intend to come back when I shall have grown strong enough to bear the journey, and we will go on again all together as we are now.

Easter Sunday
April 13, 1873
And this is Easter Sunday, the day our Lord raised from the dead. How closely connected seems the day with my dead darling- he sleeps in Jesus. As many as sleep in Him shall rise with him. Oh what a blessed glorious time shall that resurrection morning be- when we shall all awake in the likeness of Christ- and be satisfied- never until then, but it is enough- we shall be satisfied.

May 27, 1873
Just five years ago tonight we were married. Then I wore white with orange blossoms on my head. To night I am wearing black for the loved one gone from me- never, never to return. How little time ago it seems that I was preparing to meet the bridegroom, a happy, trusting bride, and he never betrayed my trust. I shall never know a truer man. And now I am going back again to the old place, to the church we were married in to meet the friends we both knew. And I must leave all that remains of the loved one here- by the side of his precious baby- our little Maudie.
I had thought I should come back to live, but since I have decided to keep house in Elmwood when I am able to commence by myself. Of course I must stay with my friend this summer and until I get strong in the fall- And then I know I shall be glad to take my little family and go into my own home- a home without a husband. It will seem strange, but I know it will be best for them, and if for them, certainly for me, for they are my care- my most precious earthly treasures, my husband’s darling children, and if they are happy, I shall be. Dear little Mabel- we all think she walks better than she did. Still it is very probable that I shall have to take or send her to New York to have a brace fixed for her back. Precious child- I want to do all in my power to save her from being deformed and hope that sad fate will be spared by my little girl. I expect to go home with them day after tomorrow. I have decided to go now and not wait for Mary to come.
Today Mrs. Turner came down to see me, and tonight Mr. Bush and his mother and some other neighbors called to see me before I go home. They are very kind. I have many friends and many who love me.

June 1, 1873
Elmwood
Yes, I am back again at home. I came from Hartford Thursday with my two little girls- my fatherless babies, but God is their father. He will care for my little ones and me. Today I went to the church where five years ago we were married, and I have come back without him, and he can never come again to me- but I may go to him, my darling husband. Dr. Taylor spoke to me very kindly after the bible service.

Sunday June 22, 1873
Three weeks ago since I wrote. Since then Mary has made her visit to Wethersfield and returned last Friday. I kept house for her while she was away, She went to see my husband’s grave. The stones are set now for him and little Maudie. I should like very much to see them. I think I shall go in the winter perhaps. If Lucy is keeping house, I  shall be glad to go and see the dear friends at Windsor Ave. church, where they loved my darling so much. How strange it seems that he is gone and I am left to plan and live and work for the little ones without his loving help. But I must not complain. God is very good to me- He will make the way all plain. Today my insurance money is due. What a proof it will always be to me of Sam’s loving care and forethought for me and the little ones. I shall be so glad to commence keeping house with them all by myself.

July 5, 1873
Yesterday was the 4th of July. How strangely different such days seem as we grow older, from what they used to. I expected to spend the day with Lizzie and stay a fortnight or about that time- took Bessie out with me and left Mabel at home, but found Henry so sick that I decided to return immediately with father. If I could only have been a help to her, I would gladly have stayed, but in my condition with Bessie to look out for, I felt I should have been a burden rather than a help. Poor dear Lizzie- God help and strengthen her in this her time of need. I do not think I shall go again before I am sick, unless Henry should die. In that case, I think I should take the children and stay a while with her- but God only knows what is in store for us all. I am thankful we do not- the present is enough.

July 6, 1873
A lovely Sabbath day. Mother, Father, Fannie, and Mary have gone to church. I am at home with the little ones. Bessie is very worrisome- has been so for three or four days. She is badly broken out with heat. I suppose she feels bad. I am sure she acts badly. I have had their photographs taken, sitting together. I wanted to get them while I still had them both and could attend to it. It will cost me nine dollars without framing, but I shall not regret having them, if it only suits me when it is finished. My poor sister Lizzie. I wonder how Henry is today. Dear Sam, the little ones have been kissing his picture this morning. Precious husband- Can it be that I can never have been with us again- he loved us all- he must love us still. What a father my children have lost. If it were not for the Heavenly father- sad indeed would be their lot. But his promises are sure and in Him is my trust, for me and them. And so I go calmly on living each day as it comes, trying to do what little I can, waiting for the time to come when my little one shall be born and I may once more be strong and able to do for them all in my own home. How much help I shall need to keep me brave and patient and to bring them up in the right way. But my Helper will not fail. The promises are sure and I shall have strength for the day.

August 28, 1873
Tomorrow is my little Mabel’s birthday- four years old. How well I remember the time of their birth, my little Maudie and Mabel, and he was away from me. And we sent him a dispatch and how troubled and anxious my husband was until he could get back to me again. My first little ones, born in dear old Hartford. How I shall always love that place where we lived those few happy years of our short married life. I am glad my darling is buried there. It is fit that he should lie in death where he was so loved and honored in life. I hope to be able to go this winter and visit Albert and Lulu. What a blessed thing it is that I have a place to visit near where my precious ones lie sleeping, and near so many dear friends in (undecipherable word). I should feel sad indeed if my lot was cast entirely away from them all. But God is very good to me. Next time I write perhaps my little one will be here and I shall have a new love and life to (undecipherable) for. How gladly Sam would have welcomed it to his loving father heart- so tender he always was to his little ones. Can I make up that love to them- they have lost such a father. But God knows best and I will trust them all to Him who never errs.

October 8, 1873
March 9, 1874
Five months ago I wrote that date but for some reason, wrote no more, and here I am, the winter all gone with not one word added to the record. But these last six months have been very busy ones. My baby was born the fifth of September- a splendid girl weighing nearly twelve pounds. I had hoped to have a boy, but can truly say I am contented and know that this is best for me. She is a dear happy little thing. She looks more like Bessie than Mabel, with her father’s eyes and hair. Mary named her “Mary Alice”. I think Sam liked the name of Alice and he thought a great deal of sister Mary, so I am satisfied with it. I shall call her Allie while she is little. I commenced keeping house the middle of Nov more than three months ago. I have a cosy tenement just over Mary’s, so I am in the house with all my family, and it is a blessed thing for me. I can take baby down after the other two are asleep in the evening and make mother a visit, and when I am out on Sunday she takes care of them for me. Mother goes in the morning and I go in the evening- and also to a bible class in the afternoon that holds an hour. It is a great privilege to me to be allowed to go, and one that I need so much. We are all waiting now for news from Wethersfield. Lucy is sick. Mrs Johnson was sent for Saturday and went in the afternoon train, but since that time we have heard nothing. I hope we may before another day goes by. Dear precious Lulu- may God give her all needed strength to take her safely through her time of trial.
My days are so full. I find so little time for writing. I have faithfully kept up my letters to Lulu and have written a very few other solitary ones to different ones, but my time is so fully occupied with three babies and the necessary work to keep them comfortable (I do the washing and ironing for them.) I think time never went more swiftly. Almost a year since we laid away our loved one from our sight. I cannot look forward to the end of another year. God give me strength to perform the duties of each day as it comes- I can ask no greater gift than that.
April 20, 1874
More than a month since I have written a word in this dear old journal, and I have had such good news too- waiting to be written down. Albert and Lulu have a splendid little boy- now six weeks old I believe and Lulu is doing so well. She has already been out twice- once to Hartford and once to spend the afternoon at a neighbors. They have named the little one Fred and Albert is so delighted with him as well he may be- and Lulu is so happy and overflowing with mother love. God has been so good to us all in sparing those precious lives. And now I have such a happy visit to look forward to for the summer. Oh, how I want to go, and God is good to let me. Five years ago last Friday I went with my husband for the first time. Never shall I forget how green and beautiful everything looked. And I thought it such a pleasant city and I always loved it, never grew homesick or lonesome. I had no little ones then, but by and by they came, those two little first babies and Sam and I were really father and mother. Oh, precious husband, how much  have lost in losing you. God’s ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts are as our thoughts. But He loves us. He knows the end from the beginning.
Four years ago next month we took our little ones to church and had them baptized. Since then our little Bessie- and now I must take my little Allie. I think I shall carry her the first Sunday in May. Surely she will not be left out of God’s covenant keeping care. I firmly believe that each one of my precious ones will be His “when He cometh to make up His jewels”.
My little Allie is such a treasure- precious little girl. She has waked from her nap and is crying now for her mama to take her up.

June 23, 1874
How many things there are to be done. I hardly know where to commence and so will spend first a very few minutes talking to you dear old journal and then will go to work at something. I want to to get so many things done for the children to wear before I go to Wethersfield. Only a little longer to wait now and I shall be in the dear old places and see again the dear loved faces. God grant that we may all remain well- there has been and is much sickness. Scarlet fever and throat troubles have abounded, but my little ones have escaped thus far.
Wethersfield

July 24, 1874
At the dear old home again, how beautiful it is- once it was mine and his. How changed it all is. Now I am visiting for a little while at my brothers, a woman with three fatherless children. No- I will not call them fatherless, for He is their Father, even God, the great father of all the fatherless little ones. Yesterday we spent the afternoon at Mrs. Turners, where we spent those happy years of our life in Hartford. When I moved into her house I had my Mandie and Mabel, my twin babies- now she has twin boys, eight months old- and beautiful little fellows they are too. She may well take delight in them. My Allie is the oldest of the four. Lucy carried her little Freddie- he is now a little more than four months, a nice little boy, the joy and delight of Albert and Lucy. God grant that he may live many years to bless them and all who know him. Nellie Hazen called a few minutes to see us Wednesday evening- and Alice Stillman called in the afternoon. I presume we shall have considerable company while I am here. I am glad to see the dear old friends again. I came last Saturday, the eighteenth of July, just four years from the time my Mandie died. Yesterday I visited the grave of my lost darlings. Surely they are not there. My little Allie wants me and I must go to her.

Aug 8, 1874
I have been in Wethersfield three weeks already. How fast the weeks go by. Lucy has gone to spend a week at her sisters- will return Wednesday- and I am housekeeper. The day she went on Wednesday Rev Mr. Adams and daughter called. He is the pastor of the church here in Wethersfield- a very good man. Albert and Lucy were married by him in our pleasant parlor a year ago last February. Now Lucy has a very pretty parlor there and I am a visitor entertaining callers in it. How strangely things change in our lives here, and I think bye and bye a greater change will come to (word written over, not decipherable) than can come here- when the mortal shall put on immortality. How perfectly inconceivable it is what that change shall be. Oh, if I might but be faithful in the few things- these little trying things of life that come so often in the care of little children. God help me to realize while the time is passing how exceedingly precious are the moments now in training these lambs of His fold that they may be bright and shining lights to Him forever ” in the sweet bye and bye”. “Bright stars for his crown Sunday”(This last phrase was written over what was originally written). I commenced writing last night but my little Alice awoke and I had to stop. Today is Sunday, a rainy day in the old town of Wethersfield, and so I am at home, church being to(sic) far away to go in such weather. It is all so quiet here and Sabbath like. I love the Sabbath stillness. I wish it might be so at home. Oh, if men every where would Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. How much better it would be for them and all concerned. Oh how glorious a time in which to live when men every where shall know the Lord from the least to the greatest.
“When right shall over might prevail
And truth like hero armed in mail
The hosts of tyrant wrong assail
And hold triumphant sway”
This is from Henry Ware’s hymn “The Progress of Freedom”

 

Noise does not disturb one other days, but at home on Sundays I cannot help seeing and hearing so much that I feel does not belong in holy time- and how can God bless a people who will not keep his perfect law- and that brings me back to the thought of the vast importance of training the little ones right in all things. How much power a mother has over the little ones. I should like so much to have gone to church today. Lucy and I walked down last Sunday evening to a missionary event (?) held in the chapel. It was the first time I had seen it. It is very pretty and homelike. The people in Wethersfield have been greatly blessed by a revival since I was here. Many have joined the church, some of those I used to know when here. I cannot see any use in living at all unless one is living for God. How sin has blinded the eyes, closed the ears, seared the hearts of the children of earth- that they keep away from God and his wondrous forgiving love, so freely given to every earnest soul who seeks for it. I thank God that He has made us so that we cannot be happy without it.

March 18, 1875
Dear old journal. I have been reading over some of your pages and living over again days gone bye- but I have sadly neglected you these last few months. Not one word have I written since my visit in Wethersfield. That seems a long time ago, although some less than a year. Just two years ago tonight my husband died. Two years in eternity- no time there. No sorrow there, no sin, no night- but God in His glory, Love in its perfection, Hope changed to glad fruition, faith to sight, prayers to praise. It is too much for us to realize. Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered into the heart of man to conceive- So we must wait for the glory till our time shall come to go over the river- into the promised land. I wonder if my Sam knows anything about me now. I have one happy thought about it- if he knows anything about me he knows it all, and I am willing he should, just as I am glad to have God know and (undecipherable) and keep one.

Fannie celebrated mother’s wedding day (the 14th of Feb) by getting married herself  to Joseph W. Hunt. We have all grown up in the same place- and have all known each other for years. He has been going with her (his fashion. By the way, he is somewhat old, but very good hearted and proves to be a very good husband) I don’t know how many years- and a month ago they stood up  in another’s parlor and were married by Dr. Taylor. Mother and father, Mary and Dr., Mr and Mrs. Hunt, Nellie and her husband, Ella Gray and Fred, Burt, who have for so long been together and with Fan and Joe being the only ones not connected with the families who were present. Of course, I was there. And so the last one of the family is married. Mary has been married twice, and I am alone. I have lived so much and in so short a time. I was no older when my husband died leaving me with his little ones and the little one who never saw her father- than Fannie was when she married. She is just commencing life. I hope she may always be as happy as she is today. They are living with his mother but will commence housekeeping another month I think. They have a tenement in the same house with Mrs. Kent. To night Mary, Fannie, and I went to meeting together. Mr. Floyd came home with me. Mary and Fannie came up and had the funnest time writing poetry. One would write a line and tell the last word, then the next would write, and so on. We succeeded admirably. They staid until Joe came from the city- then Fannie went home and Mary went home.